Functional Programming in Java? No, not Scala...

Having more experience in Java than most of the other languages I've coded in, I was interested to read this article from 2004 on using some functional programming concepts in vanilla Java.
The notion is attractive, but then I saw some example code:
public int calcPriceInternalIterator(List items)
{
Iterator i = items.iterator();
UnaryFunction getItemPrice =
new UnaryFunction()
{
public Object evaluate (Object obj)
{
return new Double(((SETLItem)obj).getPrice());
}
};
Constant usd100 = new Constant(new Double(100));
BinaryPredicateUnaryPredicate moreThanUSD100 = new BinaryPredicateUnaryPredicate
(new UnaryCompositeBinaryPredicate(new IsGreaterThanOrEqual(), getItemPrice, usd100));
FilteredIterator fi = new FilteredIterator(i, moreThanUSD100);
Summer addPrice = new Summer();
Algorithms.foreach(fi, addPrice);
return addPrice.getSum();
}


And then in the concluding spiel:

In this article, I've introduced two functional programming techniques that can be easily integrated into your Java development practices.

... Now come on. I have no idea what that code does, because it's an ugly, bloated mess of syntax and verbose names (not to mention simply having far too many identifiers and tokens in the first place).

Java is a round hole. Functional programming is a square peg. Without modifying the syntax of the language, trying to fit the square peg in the hole may be possible, but far, far too complicated and impractical. No sane coder would want to work with that.

week of doom

Cycling back from snooker on Tuesday, I stopped in a Chinese takeaway in Beaumont, about 3km from home. Laden with chow mein and... whatever I got for my girlfriend, I decided to cycle on the path to the petrol station just around the bend (where I could buy a 2L bottle of something to drink, since coke cans are €1 a pop in the takeaway), rather than bother to cross back onto the road, cycle for 20 seconds and cross again to get to the petrol station.

I slightly underestimated the distance to the petrol station, so when I got my bottle of Club Orange and stuffed it into my backpack beside the Chinese food, I sat on my bike and noticed the front tyre was completely flat. Bollox, said I.
Anyway, I didn't want to faff about trying to fix it there because that takes me an hour and I had hot food in my bag. So after a longer-than-usual uncomfortable cycle home on a flat tyre, I pulled the takeaway out to find that it had leaked all the sauce from my chow mein into my backpack, all over my rain trousers and whatnot. And bollox again, I swore.

Next morning, we spent an hour fixing the puncture (I hate the damn things. Hate.) and I headed off to DCU. Some hours later, when I returned to my bike I noticed it was flat again. No problem, probably a slow puncture elsewhere, or a semi-sticky patch.. I'll just pump it up again and ride home. However, when I took the pump to college in my bag, I neglected to take the small attachment tube which connects it to the tyre's air valve. For the third time, bollox was uttered with some frustration.

Another trip home on a flat tyre, listening to the rim grind against tarmac through the outer tyre, and I left the bike 'til morning before swapping out the cursed inner tube with another I'd pulled out months ago with only one prior patch and which seemed to need only one more. This successfully carried me to college and back, but two days later it was flat again.
I put it out of my mind and on Sunday night, watched Lost at 9pm and prepared to do some catchup piano practice at 10 and a little more on Monday morning... when at about 3 minutes to ten, the power failed... apparently only on my road, or my half of the road even. So that lasted until about 3pm the next day, which caused some trouble since the piano is an electric keyboard.

When life gives you lemons, make cake! Unless you have a poxy electric cooker and the power is out.

...On the plus side, when I opened up my Macbook which had died in its sleep during the power outage (I put it to sleep with about 20 minutes left on the battery monitor, soon after the cut), I expected it to go through a normal bootup. Instead, I saw a funny progress bar whizz for a while, before it brought up the usual unlock dialogue which appears when you're logged on and wake the machine up. So there's a point where it wakes the machine from S3 (suspend-to-RAM) sleep and puts it straight into S4 (suspend-to-disk), then powers off, on the basis that the battery is about to run out which will destroy your S3 image and you'd have to boot again. Nice.

The joys of Sozobon C

Having been slowly inching towards doing a little coding on the Atari ST, I decided to set some (very) small, straightforward goals to actually get started doing something useful. This seems to be a pretty important tactic for me, as otherwise, I can start to get lost in the haze of all my different interests and never really get anywhere.

I started laying these out in a simple todo list following the extreme programming task card style we used at Cellusys, like so:

---

 In progress:

 todo:

* ST: Display a sprite! (IH: 2)

done:

* ST: Switch to low res and back to original. (IH: 0.5 / AH: 0.5)
* ST: Print the current colour palette. (IH: 10m / AH: 20m)
* ST: Change the background colour to green. (IH: 2 (??) / AH: 10m)

---

Printing the palette took a bit longer since I decided to write a number->binary (string representation) conversion function, and realised I'd forgotten some pretty basic things about C. But that's part of the fun! Note my fairly pessimistic estimate of 2 hours to display a simple sprite. It's probably a good idea to err on the side of underestimating yourself when planning stuff that is somewhat beyond your ken, even if you used to do it ten years ago. To be honest though, I'm not really sure what to try after that. A little animation I suppose? Then eventually some screen flipping and fiddling with the palette and an XBIOS sound routine. Sounds like a plan...

The 1 percent rule

From a Wired article on geekiness in Futurama:

Cohen refers to a One Percent Rule that guided the writing on Futurama. When they were scripting the episode "Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch," a character claims that he painstakingly programmed a holographic simulation using "4 million lines of BASIC." One writer pointed out that 99 percent of the audience wouldn't get the reference to an old programming language. Producer-writer Eric Kaplan responded, "Fuck them!"

Cooool.